So farewell Tubby's. The last night was very emotional, lots of hugs from Robin and the staff, lots of insults flying. And, contrary to my previous claims, it is already sold for the full asking price. Thanks for the many memories, and for being the first place/people to make us truly welcome in Ilkley. ...and also to Steps. I've never been a fan, but for the main man to lose his restaurant because a business 'partner' in another venture ran off with the cash, leaving both businesses broke, is, well, not very nice to say the least. The place has already been stripped, and is on the market for considerably less than the Tubster's. We know two young(ish) gentlemen who might hopefully be interested.


Must admit to enjoying the new speed thing on Bolling Road. Trying to pass it exactly at 30, or even crawl up from 25 to 30 as approaching it (and you have to make it check off each mph on the way) is a lot of fun. Indeed, watching it means youre almost certain to crash sooner or later. The sheer thrill of doing 31 and being told by the flashing light you're breaking the law! Sheer joy.

You dirty old man

And thanks to the teachers at IGS for organising a Children in Need three-legged race funday. What I need on a driving lesson two weeks before a test is two hundred teenagers blocking off most of Brook Street as they cross and re-cross the bloody road. And what I especially needed was the group of four nubile young things in French Maids' uniforms. And, yes, with bloody garters. I knew they were only fourteen, but they didn't look it from behind, okay? It's not my fault, it's this damn Y chromosome.

Work, what, me?

Walking up Parish Ghyll Road, the builders are working on the old nurses' house opposite Moda in pelle (which has a sale on you'll be surprised to know). They're transferring some concrete slabs from a lorry, so the road is blocked off. This requires two men in yellow jackets at the top and two at the bottom, with thermoses and sandwiches, just standing there and stopping traffic. It's a tough job.

Back in white

Well, here we are again. Most of the posts (including those from the IACCTV blog) have come over. Most of the images haven't. Indeed, given the way the image on the 'stunning' post now looks, I'm going to have to play around with that. Not sure how to make a thumbnail connect to the main image. In the meantime, this is the last regrets WP theme, only using the header from one by northern web coders. And, as I've just discovered, Wordpress doesn't like Opera anymore than Typepad used to do. Sorry to say this blog won't be updated that much. More time willbe spent over at Cynicalbastard


As most of you know, I'm not living in Ilkley during the week anymore, so it's an absolute delight to come home. Potter onto the moor, look at the scenery. It's a very beautiful place and you should all be very happy there.

The Lions' Mouth

In the serenissima, the serene republic of Venice, they had a policing system involving denunciation. Anyone (well, you had to be a citizen not a slave, but that sort of went with the ability to write) could denounce another citizen by dropping a letter into a mailbox shaped like a lions' mouth. Plainly they had a lot of nutters who were probably ignored, but this system could lead to those denounced being spirited away in the middle of the night across the Bridge of Sighs and never heard from again.

It's good, then, that the UK has decided to learn from this experience. INstead of paying policemen to get out on the beat, they're to be encouraged to sit at their desks while anonymous tip-offs are delivered to them by mail and phone. These tip-offs will then be investigated. If you;re btohered by a group of youths on the street corner, phone it in (anonymously) and they'll send someone round. If you don't like the noise from a neighbour, mail it in and denounce them. It'll give the Police something to do, and save them from having to solve actual crime. But what sort of society will it make us?

I can just think of one couple who will be making use of this privilege.


The authors/poets/cartoonists plugging their books at Ilkley Literature Festival have been announced. Starts with PD James, ends with Louis Theroux. In the middle there's Maya Angelou, usual suspects like Joolz, and a writing class with Toby Litt who must be rated as one of our best under-40 novelists.

No Zadie. Thank you organisers. Stop a passing website (when it's updated) and buy some tickets.

Congrats, part two

To the Bradford Council team that decided that the lights on Skipton Rd/Victoria Avenue were not bad enough, and that they should repair the road, shutting off one carriageway, in August at the height of the day-tripper season!

Well done those chaps. Tail-backs to Skipton. We had to circle from Bolton Abbey to Langbar and over the suspension bridge to get home. Some Leeds-ites (not knowing of these back routes) are probably still there.