Questions no one has asked so far.
What is 'Ilkley'?
Ilkley is a town of some 14,000 inhabitants, located in Wharfedale, Yorkshire, England. The town is sandwiched between two areas of stunning moorland, part of the North Pennines. It's one of the most beautiful places in the country, if not the world. And those of us who have a home here are very privileged.
Who are you?
I live here.
Are you being serious?
Sometimes. But, no, Ilkley doesn't really exist under a fascist jackboot. It just sometimes feels like it. It is, however, definitely a gerontocracy.
Are you aware of the libel laws in the UK?
Oh yes, but I'd always claim the satirical defence. If anyone threatens me with lawyers I will, of course, cave in straight away.
Does anybody read what you write?
Hey, you can't have got here from google. As insular, cynical, blogs go, this one is doing just fine.
Do you hate where you live?
See above. I just like complaining. And if I can't complain, I like to whinge.
If I had an afternoon in Ilkley, what should I do?
If it's not raining, get thee up t'moor.
If it is, get thee down t'Old Bridge, and watch the Wharfe roar.
What's the best pub/restaurant/tea shop/nightclub?
The Yard/Tubby Wadlow's/Betty's/What's a nightclub?
What's your motto?
It's been a long time since I did Latin, but something along the lines of ex Verbeia veni, et a Verbeia redibo.
Can we contact you?
If you really want to. Try e-mailing me here.